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[aloneindarknes7]

Title: Blinding Anger
Author: Jordan Herbert
Warnings: Abuse 
Pairing: MikeyRafieo
Fandom: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Rating: Nc-17
Word Count: 2,947
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and that makes me sad sometimes until I realize I can still write using them. Yay!
Author's Note: Written for tmnt_100  prompt #15: Anger. You can find my BDT here.

 

Mikey hummed aloud to the sizzling of the fish in the frying pan. The sea scent was overpowered by the parmesan cheese he had on top of the fish. It seemed like an odd combo but he liked it and it was one of his husband’s favorite dishes. The carrots that they would have on the side were sitting in the middle of the table with ranch dressing for dipping and he wouldn’t start the Mac-N-Cheese was all done and simply sitting on the stove at a low level to keep warm.

           
As Mikey swayed around the kitchen, making sure that everything was perfect, his apron danced on his thighs. He was so excited for his husband to get back to their large apartment; he knew he was the best choice for the promotion, it was a sure thing.

           
He heard the door open and a smile bloomed on his face until he heard a loud, familiar thud of a fist colliding with the wall. No doubt it left another mark.

           
Mikey tensed and remained facing the stove as he felt his husband enter the kitchen. Taking a deep breath, Mikey braced himself with a large smile and turned. “Hi, honey,” Mikey greeted, taking notice of the red eyes, matching the other’s red skin. “Dinner’s almost ready. I cooked that fish and cheese dish you like so much.”

           
“Dinner can wait,” he snapped as he loosened his tie and began to unbutton his overcoat. “I want you in the bedroom, now.” He turned on his heal and disappeared from Mikey’s sight.

           
“Yes, Rafaelo,” Mikey nodded, a frown crossing over his face. He turned all of the stove’s settings onto low and took another deep breath to try and contain his trembles. Slowly, he headed across their sitting room, glancing out of the large windows at the city, and down into the dark, foreboding hallway. He looked at the guest rooms farther down from his own shared room and sighed as he entered.

           
The connected bathroom had a closed door and Mikey could hear the sound of running water. “Want me to leave the apron on?” Mikey asked, as he knocked on the door, trying to make light of the situation.

           
“Take it off,” Rafaelo snarled and Mikey gulped as he backed away from the door. He untied the bow behind his shell and pulled it off from over his head. He hung it on the bedroom’s doorknob and sat down on the edge of the bed, staring at the apron. It had been a wedding gift, a joke from his brother Raph, because Raph had known Rafieo’s kink of Mikey in an apron.

           
Rafaelo opened the bathroom door and threw his overcoat toward their closet. He had half of the buttons on his undershirt already undone and continued on his task. “Take those off too,” he growled as he motioned to Mikey.

           
Mikey nodded wordlessly and pulled at the skin colored stocking. He rolled it off from the crease of his thigh and shell all the way down to the holes where his toes stuck out. The stocking was an extra layer of skin, the same color tone as Mikey, and perfect for covering the welts, marks, and cuts all across his legs. Both stockings were off and Mikey watched Rafaelo’s shirt fly across the room to join his coat. Slowly, Mikey took off his long gloves that ran up to his elbows. He wiggled his fingers experimentally. He had worn the gloves for so long he had started to forget what everything felt like without the thin layer of lace overtop.

           
Rafaelo slid his pants off and pulled the leather belt out of the loops, folding it over and giving a deafening, experimental snap with it. Mikey stared forward and tried to compress his shivers as Rafaelo walked in front of him.

           
Gently, Rafaelo took Mikey’s left hand and turned it over and over slowly as he searched for the perfect spot to add a new welt to. It was starting to get hard to find new spots that weren’t covered already. Rafaelo’s thumb rubbed against Mikey’s smooth palm and he released that arm to give his other arm the same treatment. Then he stepped between Mikey’s legs and pushed them apart.

           
He knelt down and examined Mikey’s legs, his eyes thoroughly taking in the harsh red marks contrasting against Mikey’s sea green skin tone. Rafaelo smirked and ran his thumb up and down a smooth patch on the inside of Mikey’s thigh. Mikey shuddered.

           
“Roll over, arms first,” Rafaelo ordered and Mikey instantly obeyed. It wouldn’t be wise to make him angrier. He dropped to his bruised knees and placed his plastron to the bed, stretching his arms over the bed in front of his head as he rested his chin on the bed and blankly stared out before him. He had to watch the first stroke, and then he could close his eyes. If he didn’t, the surprise of the first would make him cry out louder.

           
He still yelped in pain when the first stroke was delivered. Then he clenched his eyes shut tightly as the room filled with the crack of the belt against his skin. Rafaelo, at least, wasn’t using the end with the buckle; he wasn’t that angry then.

           
Mikey whimpered as the belt fell again and again against his arms. His fingers dug into the bed comforter and his knuckles were pelted then with the belt until his hold loosened. His arms were smacked again for good measure. It finally stopped and Mikey hoped that his arms were done. His arms hurt the most.

           
“Turn them over, palms open and up.” The demanding voice hissed and Mikey did as he was told. His left palm was struck suddenly with the buckle and Mikey yelped and curled his hand into a protective fist as his eyes opened with shock. “What the fuck are you doing?” Rafaelo screamed.

           
Mikey uncurled his fist and looked at Rafaelo with teary eyes. “Sorry,” he apologized softly. Rafaelo curled his lip up and struck Mikey’s palm again and again.

           
“You will be,” he snarled as he continued to strike Mikey’s palm with wonderful accuracy until Mikey’s palm started to bleed.

           
Rafaelo moved behind Mikey and nudged his legs farther apart from each other. He instantly hit Mikey’s tender thighs with the belt buckle and Mikey cried out, his body jerking. “Don’t move,” Rafaelo shouted and brought the belt farther up and back, really lashing at Mikey.

           
Mikey began to sob softly as his legs spasmed with sudden jolts of pain. His thighs were so sensitive and Rafaelo knew that. Mikey didn’t mean to but he started to subconsciously count until he reached twenty and then he jerked forward on the bed, crawling forward on his plastron so that the back of his knees were struck instead for a blow.

Rafaelo growled and grabbed Mikey’s shell behind his neck. “You’re being bad, Mikey.” He bellowed angrily.

           
“Please,” Mikey’s tears fell from his eyes and a sob escaped from his throat. “Please, that spot hurts so much.”

           
“That’s the point,” Rafaelo snarled and pulled Mikey back to the edge of the bed and struck the same spot for another five lashes. “You fucking bitch,” he sat down, the bed creaking under his weight. “I’ll make you sorry.” He promised as he picked Mikey up by the scruff of his neck, making him gasp and shake with sobs as he was laid over Rafaelo’s knees.

           
Without warning, Rafaelo’s hand came down on Mikey’s rump. Mikey jerked and yelped as he was struck again by those large hands. His tail, on instinct, tried to curl in further only to fall victim to another smack.

           
“Sorry, sorry,” Mikey began to chant as he sobbed and tears trailed down his face. “I’m so sorry, sorry, Rafaelo, I’m sorry.” Rafaelo’s finger pushed into Mikey’s mouth and Mikey closed his eyes as he sucked and licked at the digit.

           
Rafaelo didn’t stop until Mikey’s rump was red. He pulled his finger out and then tossed Mikey easily onto the bed. Mikey moved to his knees and elbows, body visibly trembling now as he sobbed and waited. He was able to collect himself a bit, at least enough to stop his tears for the moment while he continued to wait.

           
“My finger’s getting dry again, Mikey. Go ahead and take your time, I can wait all night; it’ll only be worse for you.” Rafaelo growled and Mikey frowned.

           
Mikey’s eyes widened and he mentally cursed himself. Rafaelo didn’t like the act of rape so Mikey had to always act like he wanted it and that included presenting and offering himself. Mikey made his tail lift up and he bowed his head as he murmured, “Please, Rafaelo, take me.”

           
“Louder, Mikey,” Rafaelo snarled as he shoved his finger into Mikey’s little hole.

           
Mikey groaned. “Please, Rafaelo, take me, please. I love the feel of you in me.” He moaned again as Rafaelo twisted his finger and pulled it out. Mikey tensed as he heard the spit sound. He scolded himself that tensing was the worst thing to do and tried to take in a deep, calming breath but Rafaelo shoved in before he had the chance.

           
With a loud moan, Mikey called out, “Oh yes, that feels so good.” He bowed his head as Rafaelo pulled out. He was on the verge of tears again by the time Rafaelo settled on a pace, pushing in and out in and out of Mikey’s small, trembling body. “So good, you’re so good, Rafaelo,” Mikey stated to cover up a sob.

           
“Fuck,” Rafaelo cursed as he gripped Mikey’s lower shell and pulled Mikey down on himself as he thrust up, making it deeper inside Mikey. Mikey moaned lowly and tried to make it sound like a pleasurable moan. He was good at faking pleasurable sounds. “Fuck, Mikey, fuck.” Rafaelo growled and shoved Mikey down once more as he roared and came. Mikey focused on his muscles and tightened around Rafaelo as he moaned loudly.

           
Rafaelo’s heavy panting filled the room as Mikey waited patiently for him to pull out. Rafaelo rolled onto his shell and brought an arm over his eyes as he continued to pant.

           
Mikey whipped at his eyes with his good hand and slowly sat up. “I made a mess of myself,” he smiled at Rafaelo and moved from the bed, grabbing his stockings and gloves from the floor. “I’d better clean up and continue with dinner.”

           
He moved quickly to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Mikey reached for the sink and turned the cold handle as far as it went. He splashed the refreshing water on his face and changed the temperature as he started to clean off his bleeding palm and wash at his thigh. Those were going to be new welts. The other damage to his arms were simply going to be marks.

           
Once his stockings and gloves were back in place and he had collected himself, Mikey shut off the sink and left the bathroom. The panting had stopped and Mikey stared at the figure on the bed. He wasn’t sure if his eyes were still red with anger or not.

           
Mikey went to the door and placed his apron back on, retying it behind his shell. “I’m going to finish dinner. It should be done in a few minutes. Come out when you’re ready,” Mikey offered as he left the room, quietly shutting the door behind him.

           
He walked back to the kitchen and leaned against the counter, taking deep breaths as his body finished with a few trembles. The food was ready and he started to make up the two plates as he heard heavy footsteps behind him.

           
“Go ahead and take your seat,” Mikey glanced over his shoulder, meeting bright yellow eyes. He turned fully, the dishes in his hands, and smiled. His husband took his normal seat at the small table in the kitchen and Mikey sat his plate down in front of him with a kiss to his forehead. “I’ll fetch you a nice big glass of lemonade.” He offered with his smile still on his face as he went to the refrigerator. “I made a big pitcher this afternoon.” He left the pitcher on the table as he sat two filled glasses out.

           
Mikey stood on the other side of the table and sliced his fish up. He picked his plate up with his left hand and lifted a forkful of fish to his mouth, chewing and enjoying the missed flavors in his mouth.

           
“Why aren’t you sitting?” Mikey glanced at his husband and swallowed before he answered.

           
“I’ve been sitting all day, I might as well stand.” Mikey replied with a bright smile. His husband’s eyes narrowed at the forced smile.

           
“You stood last night,” he accused. “I want you to sit tonight.” Mikey frowned and nodded, putting his plate and fork down. He pulled his chair out and slowly started to sit. He caught his husband’s gaze and smiled as he gently sat down. He couldn’t stop the hiss and slight wince. “God damn it!” Mikey winced again as his husband swept his plate off of the table and it shattered on the ground.

           
“Rafieo,” Mikey frowned as he watched his husband cup his head in frustration. Mikey sighed and scooted his chair back.

           
“No, Mikey, stay seated.” Rafieo rubbed at his eyes. “I shouldn’t have acted so rashly but I did. It’s my mess, I’ll clean it up.” Rafieo stood from the table and grabbed the roll of paper towels they kept in the cupboard under the sink.

           
“You can have my plate,” Mikey offered once the mess was clean.

           
“I don’t really have much of an appetite.” Rafieo threw the last of the glass pieces into the trash can and simply stared at it.

           
“But it’s one of your favorites,” Mikey countered, staring at his husband, concerned.

           
“Mikey,” Rafieo sighed and turned to face him. He looked Mikey up and down and he fell to his knees, brining a hand up to cover his eyes, even as the tears he tried to hide slid down his cheeks. Mikey was by his side in an instant and wrapped his arms around Rafieo’s neck, cuddling and consoling him.

           
“Why won’t you leave me, Mikey?” Rafieo asked. “Why won’t you report me?”

           
“They’ll take you away, Rafieo, and I can’t stand that thought. I love you.” Mikey protested. “I’m never going to leave you.”

           
“I’m horrible, I should be killed.” Rafieo murmured as he brought his hand away.

           
“Don’t say that, Rafieo. You’re wonderful and I love you, I will always love you.” Mikey assured.

           
“How could you love me? I’m a monster.” Rafieo sobbed, “I hurt you, I beat you, I--”

           
“You would never hurt me.” Mikey argued.

           
“Then what’s this?” Rafieo shouted, ripping off Mikey’s left glove. He stared at Mikey’s hands and more tears filled his eyes as he stared at Mikey’s palm. “Goodness,” he ducked his head, “I am a monster.”

           
“It wasn’t you, Rafieo.” Mikey insisted.

           
“Who else is here? Huh, Mikey? Who else?” Rafieo countered.

           
“You’re not your other persona, Rafieo, you’re not. He even insists that you two aren’t the same.” Mikey explained. “He’s named himself and you’re not him, trust me, you’re not.”

           
“I still am,” Rafieo shook his head and moved from sitting on his knees to an Indian position on the floor. Mikey crawled into his lap and nuzzled at his plastron and Rafieo gently thumbed his cheek. “Why won’t you leave me? I’m hurting you.”

           
“When you told me about having dissociative amnesia, I didn’t leave you at the alter, did I?” Mikey questioned. Rafieo shook his head and Mikey smiled. “No, I didn’t, because I don’t care about that. You loose control of yourself when you’re angry but that doesn’t mean you’re not the same man I fell in love with. I won’t leave you.”

           
“I want you to be safe and happy,” Rafieo murmured.

           
“I can’t be happy if I’m not with you.” Mikey cupped Rafieo’s cheek and smiled up at him. “I’d rather be a little banged up and with you. Your kisses can heal my wounds.”

           
Rafieo smiled softly at the sweet words and cupped Mikey’s hand in his own. He stared at the injured palm and kissed it, making Mikey wince. Rafieo’s smile turned sad. “I guess you’re wrong,” he turned Mikey’s palm so Mikey could see the damage still there.

           
“I’m never going to leave you.” Mikey insisted.

           
“Even if it means being with Rafaelo?” Rafieo asked.

           
“Even then,” Mikey stated determinedly. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he leaned against Rafieo’s plastron. Rafieo’s arms curled around him in the few, silent moments that they sat on the floor. Mikey finally moved and took his glove back from his husband, slipping it on. “You didn’t get the promotion.”

           
“No,” Rafieo confirmed Mikey’s thoughts.

           
“Did you hurt anyone at the office?” Mikey questioned.

           
“Boss told me at the end of the day. I don’t know who did get the job thought; I guess I’ll find out tomorrow.” Rafieo rubbed at his eyes and Mikey nodded. “My world just goes black when I get so angry and then I wake up with this blinding red.” Rafieo explained with a sigh. “I feel like I’m seeing the blood that I spilled.”

           
Mikey stared up at his husband and frowned. He nuzzled at Rafieo’s neck and then stood up. He began to clear the table as he mentally prepared himself for the next day.

 

Comments

[aloneindarknes7.livejournal.com]

I suppose that is a good way to describe it; yeah, it's like the Hulk. I got the idea during Psychology class when we discussed disorders and multiple personalities came up. I thought the disorder of a person switching into an opposite personality from their original and not remembering anything they did during that period was very interesting. And of course I had to make it so sad with Mikey thrown into it.

And I'm glad you caught those little hints. ;)

[jeegoo.livejournal.com]

Great story darl, just one little thing I need to point out - schizophrenia isn't anything like the disease you've described in this fic. I think what you're talking about is dissociative identity disorder, which is a completly different mental illness. ^^ Other than that it was a lovely fic, very sad but beautiful.

[aloneindarknes7.livejournal.com]

Oh thank you for that fix! I didn't think it was schizophrenia when I wrote it in but that was the only mental illness that I remembered at the time and I was too lazy to go look it up. I forgot to fix that before I posted! Ah, thanks again for that catch!

[greenstar2392.livejournal.com]

It does lie! D:
I want to hate him, really I do but D: I even feel sorry for him for havin' deal that shit. I loved how Mikey would stay with him, when most would just hit the road. It sad, butr very sweet. D:

[aloneindarknes7.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you liked the story despite how sad it is. Yes, Mikey's a wonderful spouse. I wish there were more Mikey's out there for me to find and marry. ;)

[catc10.livejournal.com]

O.O...
DAMN.
ME

[aloneindarknes7.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's pretty much how I would describe this too.