I Shall Break Your Brain!~
Dec. 25th, 2008 11:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aloneindarknes7Author: Jordan Herbert
Warnings: None
Pairing: ChowFinnRatso and one-sided ChowJackie
Fandom: Jackie Chan Adventures
Rating: Pg-13 due to gropes and language
Word Count: 3,261
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and that makes me sad sometimes until I realize I can still write using them. Yay!
Author's Note: This is the first fic of 100 with these three. Yeah, you can find my other table here: Big Damn Table of Enforcer Love So, um, I see Chow as being 21, Finn 24, and Ratso 27. Also, this is set during season four, episode "The Good Guys" where "After a failed attempt at stealing a valuable statue, the Enforcers arrive at Uncle's shop seeking reform. They are granted a chance, and are employed at Uncle's shop with Tohru." As stated by Wikipedia!~ Also, prompt #39: Awkward!~
Jackie sighed as he followed his niece to the kitchen. “I don’t see what you’re worried about, Jackie.” Jade smiled up at her uncle. “Those guys aren’t really that bad and they know you can whoop them, so they won’t try anything. Besides, it’s cool having people closer to my age here. Did you know that Chow’s only twenty-one? He’s only nine years older than me while you and Tohru are like easily twenty.”
“Jade,” Jackie frowned, his brow creasing momentarily at having been called old but decided not to bother correcting her on that.
“I’m not worried about them in particular, I’m more concerned about the influence they might have on you. They are not proper role models.”
“Please, Jackie,” Jade rolled her eyes. “It’s not like I’m going to join the Dark Hand because I learned how cool the members are there or something like that.”
“I know that, but I don’t like the fact that you’ve grown fond of them so quickly.” Jackie insisted. “They are,” he paused for a second, “nice guys when they want to be. But you have to remember that they are still just a bunch of thugs who made wrong choices and--” Jackie quickly closed his mouth as they turned into the kitchen.
“Ratso,” Jackie’s eyes widened as he watched Finn laugh, wrap his hands around Ratso’s neck, and then pull the mentioned closer and into a kiss. Ratso moaned into the kiss and pushed Finn against the refrigerator. Finn’s hands crept from around his neck down his back to play with the strings tying the apron around his waist.
“Whoa,” Jade exclaimed, making the couple jump and quickly pull apart with wide eyes. Finn wiped at his mouth and Ratso ducked his head as he blushed.
“Ah…” Ratso glanced up at Finn and the smooth talker quickly fumbled for something to say as Jackie and Jade simply continued to stare.
“Sorry,” Finn managed to spit out. “Sorry, Chan man, we…ah, we really didn’t mean to have you two walk in on that. No, I mean, we didn’t want you to have to see that. Especially not Jade.” Finn bit his bottom lip and looked at the ground.
“Um…” Jackie really didn’t know what to say. All he knew was that he wished he hadn’t seen that either.
“If it…bothers you,” Ratso spoke up. “We can keep our hands to ourselves and everything. Shendu didn’t like it too much either so while he was in Valmont’s body we kept away from each other.”
“Yeah, we can do it again if you have a problem with us.” Finn offered.
“What?” Jade was outraged. “Why would Jackie have a problem with it? You two are cute together! Ah, in a manly kind of way,” she added.
“I don’t have a problem with it.” Jackie confirmed. “I just was a bit…startled. I wasn’t exactly aware that you two were homosexuals, but that is fine. Just,” he motioned to Jade while she continued to smile at Finn and Ratso in an encouraging way. “Try to keep things Pg, please.”
“No problem-o, Chan!” Finn grinned happily.
“Yeah, we ain’t big ones for public displays of affection anyways.” Ratso agreed. “Except when Finn gets that cute smile that shows his dimples and I just can’t help myself but to,” Ratso patted Finn’s cheek lightly and the redhead slapped his hand away with a growl.
“I told you before, Ratso, I’m not cute,” he tugged his open coat’s collar then slid his hands down the white material and into his pockets. “I’m cool.”
“Right, sure,” Ratso humored him, grinning as he reached behind himself and tightened his apron strings. “Now stop distracting me,” he not-too-gently pushed Finn toward the open door of the kitchen. “Or else I’ll never figure out how Tohru gets his brownies to taste so good.”
“Oh I know,” Jade grinned as she walked toward the counter and grabbed an apple out of the bowl of fruit Jackie kept out to try and encourage her to eat healthier snacks. “But I was sworn to secrecy.” She quickly added before Ratso started to beg her for it.
“Oh come on,” Ratso complained. “That’s not fair. You can’t tell me you know and then not tell me what you know; that’s just mean.”
Finn rolled his eyes. “Ratso’s on a new obsession,” he grinned at Jackie as he passed him on his way out of the kitchen. “Better go warn Chow.”
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Jackie had to admit that having the extra three around the antique shop was rather helpful at times. He no longer had to sweep, for starters, and Jade was actually staying out of trouble now that she had more people willing to play video games with her. In fact, the other night he had witnessed Ratso, of all people, helping Jade with her math homework. Jackie couldn’t believe that the man was telling the truth about studying theoretical physics.
Still, a few days of good behavior didn’t make him trust them all. They still had quite a lot to make up for.
Rubbing at his eyes, Jackie yawned and decided that a quick glass of milk and one of Tohru’s brownies, if there were any left, and then off to bed.
He walked into the kitchen and the sudden thought of having to install a door so he could knock popped into his head as he watched Finn kiss Chow, who was sitting on the counter in the middle of the kitchen. Once again, he wasn’t shocked over the homosexual thing, just the fact that he thought Finn and Ratso were dating. And that Ratso was currently at the sink, seemingly oblivious to the other two. But he did notice Jackie.
“Hi ya, Jackie,” Ratso waved and then wiped his hands off in his apron. “I just finished a new batch of brownies and I’m feeling pretty good about them.” Jackie only continued to stare, mouth hung open, as Ratso went to the center counter and cut out a still steaming brownie and placed it on a napkin. Finn and Chow had broken apart from each other when Ratso had spoken up but Finn was still standing in between Chow’s spread open legs. “Now, they might not be as good as Big T’s, but they’re pretty close.”
“Better be, this is the fifth batch you made today.” Chow exclaimed.
“Finn,” Jackie finally found his voice and used it to scream at the redhead. “How could you do that behind Ratso’s back? Literally behind his back?” He asked, watching as the disco fan frowned and blinked his confusion. “And, Ratso, how are you missing that?”
Ratso paused for a moment to look at Chow and Finn then grinned back at Jackie. “Well I get to watch whenever I want so I don’t mind if I miss a few moments. Besides, I have been really too busy trying to figure out Tohru’s recipe to play so I don’t blame the guys for not waiting.”
Jackie blinked and brought a hand up to his head, feeling the beginning of a head ache. “Wait a minute,” he pointed at Finn. “I thought you two were dating,” he motioned at Finn and Ratso.
“We are.” Finn nodded, stepping away from the counter as Chow jumped down.
“But you were kissing Chow when I just walked in.” Jackie accurately accused.
“Yes,” Chow nodded, slowing out his words as if he was talking to a third grader. “Because we’re dating as well,” he then motioned between Ratso and himself. “Also, so are we.”
“All three of you,” Jackie squinted his eyes as he looked from one to the other. “Are dating each other?”
“I told you guys we should have come straight out to him.” Chow growled as he slapped Finn in the stomach. “Now he’s probably freaked out and gonna kick us to the curb.”
Finn caved over slightly then smacked Chow’s shoulder with a frown. “Jade didn’t have a problem with it so why would he? He just probably needs a few minutes to think it over. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions like that.”
“I thought Jade said that he knew already?” Ratso frowned, still holding the napkin with the offered brownie on it.
“Wait,” Jackie quickly interrupted before any of the ex-Enforcers could say something else that would just make his headache worse. “How exactly did Jade find out that all three of you are dating?” His eyes suddenly widened. “What did she see?”
“Nothing she hasn’t on television.” Chow crossed his arms over his chest defensively. Finn groaned and elbowed him.
“Chill, Chan man, Jade just caught Ratso and Chow in a quick peck. Very Pg rated,” Finn reassured. “We explained to her how we were all three dating and she looked a bit confused, shrugged, deemed us ‘a cute trio in a manly way,’ and then challenged us to a video game contest which she swiftly whooped us at.”
Jackie nodded but continued to frown. “If you don’t mind me asking, how did all three of you come to this, uh, arrangement?”
“Well, it was kind of easy since we all just met at the same time and everything.” Chow shrugged his shoulders and boosted himself back up onto the counter to sit. “I was working at the Sunglass Shack when Finn ran out of the store with a pair and bumped into Ratso as he was about to walk in. My manager was just leaving and saw the stolen pair; I got fired since I wasn’t ‘attentive enough’ and picked a fight with Finn.”
“Which I broke up,” Ratso grinned. “And decided to make them settle their differences over a cup of coffee while we talked. We all got to know each other, realized we were kind of similar, and became good friends there after.”
“Then we all went through a particularly bad time when my band fell apart, Chow couldn’t get hired anywhere, and Ratso got kicked out of college.” Finn continued. “We kind of looked after each other since then, bumped into Valmont at the time he was looking for some new thugs, and well, the rest speaks for itself considering we all were under the same roof then for five years and sharing one bathroom. But really, the three of us are all that we have,” Finn explained as he finished.
Jackie frowned at hearing their tale then came to a decision. “Well, not anymore. You three have us as well; Jade, Tohru, myself, and…uh, Uncle is starting to like you guys.” Jackie grinned, and then noticed what he had said and partly implied. “I mean, you have us as friends, not as…well, I’m not like that, even though it’s fine that you guys are like that. And Jade is too young and Uncle is too old. I’m not sure about Tohru but um…” He trailed off.
“What?” Finn blinked then seemed to realize what Jackie was un-implying. “Oh, no, no don’t worry about that! We don’t see any of you guys like that.”
“Yeah, besides, Tohru doesn’t swing our way.” Ratso added.
“At least, that’s what Valmont’s bonuses implied.” Chow nudged Finn and the other chuckled.
“Those chicks were hot.” Finn nodded in agreement. He grinned over at Jackie and saw the still confused expression on his face. “Oh, Chow and me are bisexual. Ratso’s the only one of us that never looks at chicks.”
Ratso shrugged as he set the brownie down and took off his apron. “They just aren’t that appealing to me.” He turned around and pulled out the milk jug from the refrigerator. “Alright, now who wants milk with their brownie?”
“I think I ate my weight in brownies today,” Chow covered his mouth. “I can’t possibly eat anymore.”
“Yeah, Ratso, I’m gonna pass on this round too. In fact, I’m heading up to bed. Chan’s training really wore me out today.” Finn rubbed at his shoulder and winked at Jackie as he headed toward the door.
“I would love some milk, Ratso.” Jackie grinned and went to the counter, unable to contain himself from the alluring smell of the brownies any longer.
“Well, we’re hitting the sack then. Don’t wake us up when you finally finish cleaning, Ratso.” Chow called to the other as he waved. “Night,”
“Goodnight,” Jackie and Ratso cried in unison as the other two left and headed to bed.
Unfortunately they began their conversation too close to the kitchen as they left and their voices traveled. “I told you Chan wasn’t gay.”
“Shut up, he might not be but that doesn’t mean that his dark side isn’t.”
Jackie choked on his brownie as he overheard them and Ratso quickly slapped him on the back. Ratso grinned sheepishly. “Chow kind of got a crush on you that one time with that tiger talisman when you split in two.” Ratso admitted with a shrug of his shoulder as he grabbed a brownie for himself. “I told him you didn’t swing that way, especially not for bad guys. He kind of got the idea that he could have a shot with you know that we’re good guys.”
“Um,” Jackie frowned, he didn’t exactly know what to say and he was starting to feel awkward.
“Don’t worry, Finn will make him feel better.” Ratso winked and shoved the brownie into his mouth as he began cutting all of the brownies and putting them into a plastic container.
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
“Don’t you guys think we should do this somewhere that isn’t the kitchen?” Ratso asked as he continued to look around the kitchen nervously and grip his pants as though he thought they would fall down on their own account. “What if Chan comes down? How are we gonna explain this to him?”
“The room they gave all of us to share is right next to where Jade sleeps. It’s better if we do it down here so she doesn’t have to hear anything. Besides, a counter top is easier to clean up than sheets.” Finn reminded as he pulled the bigger ex-Enforcer closer. “Now stop worrying, Chan’s sleeping.”
“Yeah but he does come down for midnight snacks.” Chow spoke up as he sat on the counter top, legs dangling with his pants around his ankles and a tent in his boxers. “And I don’t think he has the same idea for a midnight snack as we do.”
“How do you know Chan likes midnight snacks?” Finn asked, narrowing his eyes. “You haven’t been stalking the guy have you?”
“No!” Chow shouted then grimaced and whispered, “No,” again with a harsh, quiet tone.
“Man, your crush is really getting out of hand. There’s no way Chan will ever be into us, much less want to blow you in the middle of the night.” Finn sighed and shook his head as Chow scowled and pulled his pants back up, hopping off the counter.
“You two can fuck yourselves tonight,” Chow growled and headed back upstairs to jack himself off in the bathroom.
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
Jackie trend lightly toward the kitchen, keeping his footsteps and breath quiet. He paused before he entered to listen for any noise and a chance to maybe save him from walking into anything awkward. Fortunately, it sounded like the cost was clear for once.
As Jackie entered the kitchen, he was surprised to find that the kitchen truly was empty. It was almost exhilarating to grab a glass of ice water and a couple of grapes without anyone making out in front of him. It set him off into a happy mood and he hummed to himself as he tossed a grape into the air and tilted his head back as he opened his mouth, catching the grape and chewing while he hummed and walked out of the kitchen.
He entered into their family room, namely the room with their television, and smiled as he watched Jade and the ex-Enforcers all sitting on the floor in a circle, surrounding a pile of cards. “Hey, Jackie, wanna play with us?” Jade offered as she motioned with her hand of cards.
“What are you playing?” Jackie inquired, already walking over and sitting down on the floor in between his niece and Ratso.
“Strip poker,” Finn winked from across the circle at him.
“What?” Jackie quickly stood up, surprised and a bit outraged. His water spilt a bit onto his shirt from his quick movement. “Jade, you should not--”
“Relax, Jackie,” Jade giggled as the three men snorted and chuckled lightly. “We’re playing Go Fish.”
“I got to pick the game.” Ratso grinned.
Jackie returned the smile and nodded. “Alright, deal me in.” He hated to admit it, but all three of them really were starting to grow on him with each passing day. He just hoped that they could keep their good guy ambitions going.
_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
As Ratso and Finn sat on the branch and watched Chow try and figure out a way they could possible climb up or down the mountainside and survive, Ratso sighed. “You know, I really liked being a good guy with Chan.”
“Yeah, I hear ya.” Finn reluctantly agreed. “But that schm-opal would have been worth giving that up.”
“Too bad we didn’t get it.” Ratso frowned and watched as Chow slid back over carefully to sit next to them on the thick, branch.
Once seated, Chow sighed and gripped onto Ratso’s arm as he accidentally looked down and all facades about not being deathly afraid of heights dropped. “There’s no way we can possibly scale up it, it’s at least twenty stories or something ridiculous like that and I don’t even want to know how far down.” He squeezed Ratso’s arm a little tighter but managed to make his tone keep its sarcastic nature. “So, Jade’s Angels, it looks like we’re stuck unless we sprout wings and fly away.”
“I liked that name.” Ratso pouted.
“It’s better than Jade’s Fairies,” Finn shrugged.
“Yeah but it’s not better than seeing Chan in his pajamas when he went to grab a midnight snack.” Chow grumbled angrily. “Nothing will ever be better than that.”
“You know, you wanted the schm-opal just as badly as we did.” Finn argued. “If you really didn’t want to replace catching Chan in his boxers with a lot of money, then you shouldn’t have risked it.”
Chow grumbled angrily to himself. “They had Superman on them and now I’ll never see them again. Or anything that they were hiding.”
“He wasn’t gay.” Ratso reminded him.
“Yeah, well, a few more months in that kitchen with us and he would have given in.” Chow bet, making Finn ponder for a moment before agreeing with a nod of his head.
“I still can’t believe Chan believed that nonsense that we fed him about all of loving each other though.” Finn rolled his eyes.
“Boyfriends, yeah right. Hasn’t he ever heard of fuck buddies before?” Chow mumbled something under his breath that Finn couldn’t catch but the redhead still threw a glare at the littler Enforcer.
Ratso sighed. “And I was so close to figuring out that recipe.”
While they continued to hang on the branch, they all realized that they had lost something they would never get back from Chan’s home. Ratso had lost his one chance at getting a really good brownie recipe. Chow had lost his chance to try and seduce Chan and catch him off guard in the middle of the night. And Finn had lost the only kitchen counter that had put Chow at the perfect height for kissing.
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Neat!
Re: Neat!
Date: 2011-02-09 12:20 am (UTC)Re: Neat!
Date: 2011-02-11 04:52 am (UTC)