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Jan. 31st, 2012 07:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aloneindarknes7Title: Stolen Goods
Author: Jordan Herbert
Warning: Spoilers for the movie
Pairings: Perry/Harry
Fandom: Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang
Rating: Pg-13
Word Count: 1,424
Disclaimer: Don't own and the person who does would cry a little. Maybe.
Author's Note: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
smallfandomfest prompt; Harry finds out Perry likes to cook. The prompt instantly made me think of Harry stealing from Perry's plate like a couple. :3
Harry has been stealing before he even knew what he was doing was considered wrong and could get him in some big trouble. When he was six and had been on one of the rare shopping trips with his mother, he had grabbed a Hostess snack box off of a shelf, opened the box, taken out a Twinkie, and ate the thing in four bites. He put the plastic back in the box and then ran to catch up with his mother before she forgot about him and left him in the store, again.
Since then he had gone with the rule of taking whatever he wanted. He had figured that as long as no one saw him, then no one would miss what he took or even realize that something had been taken. It had started off just being that simple. Swipe a few candy bars as rewards for actually passing a test, take an action figure out of the package and into his pocket so he could have someone to talk to at night while his mom and dad fought again, and other simple things that no one would really miss.
When he hit his teenage years he learned to swipe dirty magazines to trade the older boys for cigarettes behind the school, individual beer cans for the same reason, and gum because gum made the cute girls in class talk to him, even if they were only asking him for a piece of gum. And then he had to learn how to make a living and he had never really been that good at anything else so he stuck to stealing, except he wasn’t exactly good at stealing either because people who were good at it didn’t have priors back in New York.
Still, it had been his only habit that outlasted his smoking habit and just like the smoking habit it was going to take a while for him to break it. He wouldn’t even be trying to break either habit if it wasn’t for his roommate, aka pushy Perry van Shrike. But Perry wasn’t making him pay rent, or pay for groceries, utilities, or anything, really, and was actually paying him to be his assistant, even though Perry called him a secretary while Harry called himself an assistant.
So Harry thought he should try to be nice and stop doing the two things Perry told him to stop doing. It was better for his health to stop stealing and smoking after all. It was just one more way that Perry was trying to look out for Harry by making Harry healthier.
Harry figured it was also why Perry made breakfast for them every morning. Breakfast was the most important meal of the day, or so said the scientists or someone who actually cared more than Harry about why this meal was so important.
But Harry wasn’t an ungrateful roommate and he realized that Perry was taking the time to make two omelets or double the batch of pancakes he made, so Harry always ate everything he was given and then helped wash the dishes afterwards. He also would steal an extra piece of bacon from Perry’s plate or a bite of Perry’s French toast, despite Perry’s threats because so far he had not lost another finger to Perry’s menacing fork and butter knife.
Most of their lunches, Perry didn’t have a knife or fork to threaten Harry with so he would steal an extra slice of a peanut butter covered apple from the plate Perry prepared for himself despite Harry still having his own plate before him. He would always have to try Perry’s sandwich too even though Perry insisted that he made both of them completely the same. Harry wasn’t convinced because Perry’s always tasted better so he would secretly switch sandwiches and then quickly eat his stolen sandwich before Perry had the chance to notice or stop pretending that he didn’t notice.
Perry never let Harry help cook dinner because he knew that Harry had the habit of stealing tastes while cooking and Perry hated when Harry’s fingers “contaminated the meal.” Perry’s words, not Harry’s, of course. Even though breakfast was the most important meal of the day, dinner was Harry’s favorite because it had so many different food choices and Perry was awesome at cooking every single one. Harry didn’t even know how Perry knew so many recipes and how he had gotten so good at them but he was afraid to ask and risk the chance of angering Perry enough for him to stop cooking.
But Harry was an idiot and curiosity got the better of him. “How do you know how to make this? This is fucking delicious.” Harry complimented around a mouthful of said delicious meal.
“Spinach and cheese stuffed shells with a basil pasta sauce really isn’t that complicated to people with functioning brains and a set of skilled hands, Harry.” Perry replied easily as he continued to cut his shells into thirds.
“Yeah but I mean you know how to cook, like, everything. Is that a gay thing? Do you use these skills to get guys to sleep with you or something? Because I’m pretty sure I would have said yes to you if you had asked me for sex after that meal last Thursday.” Harry admitted.
Perry smirked. “Who knew that a good dish of paella would get you to roll over onto your stomach so easily.” He rolled his eyes. “Idiot, have you seen me cook in an attempt to get someone into my bed?”
Harry thought about it. “Well, no, but you could.”
“I probably could, yes, but I don’t like to play dirty. Everyone knows that a way to a man’s heart, or into his pants, is through his stomach. I can get guys for more than just my cooking skills.” Perry explained.
“Then why do you always cook? I mean, did you do this before I moved in or something?” Harry questioned.
“No, cooking for one is kinda pointless. But I like cooking.” Perry shrugged. “And if I didn’t cook for you I’d just end up having all of my food stolen instead of just one or two bites of each of my meals.” Perry stated even as he watched Harry’s fork inched towards his plate. Rolling his eyes, Perry helped close the distance by pushing his plate forward an inch and Harry successfully stabbed one of the slices of stuffed shells.
“I’m serious, Perry,” Harry moaned after he swallowed his stolen food. “I would totally let you bang me for your cooking.”
“Harry, you’re always bloated after I cook. Bloated sex is not my idea of a great time.” Perry berated as he took a bite of the garlic bread he had made to go along with the meal at Harry’s request. “Offer sex after you’ve digested or before we eat sometime.”
Harry nearly dropped the extra slice of garlic bread that he was claiming for himself as he stared at Perry. “Are you being serious?” Perry waggled his eyebrows over the garlic bread in his mouth. “Because I was, being serious, that is.” Perry slowly chewed the bite of bread in his mouth as he contemplated Harry. Harry fiddled with his fork and the remaining shell on his plate. “Did I ever mention that after Harmony moved out, Chook and I kinda experimented and I found out I was bisexual? You were probably right that Chook turned out to be gay. I think Harmony was the only girl he was ever with and I wasn’t the first guy he had kissed. You weren’t the first guy I ever kissed either, just so you know.”
“Eat more and shut up already.” Perry commanded.
“But I was trying to not eat as much so I wouldn’t be bloated.” Harry stabbed the shell anyways.
“Oh, well, in that case I can whip up something with the leftovers tomorrow for lunch.” Perry declared as he stood up and went to the cabinet with the tuber ware. “Just wash off the plates so that the sauce doesn’t stick and we’ll take care of them later.”
Harry couldn’t stop staring before his brain finally seemed to catch up and tell him to move quickly or else he might miss out on sex. He quickly did as he was told and stole a surprised kiss from Perry while he was putting the leftovers into the fridge.
“Last one to the bedroom sucks the winner off,” Harry declared as he bolted from the kitchen before Perry could say anything about the kiss. Perry didn’t seem to mind the declared rule from Harry when he finally made his way into the bedroom. Perry also didn’t seem to mind when Harry stole kisses from then on, in fact, it was one habit Perry encouraged.
Author: Jordan Herbert
Warning: Spoilers for the movie
Pairings: Perry/Harry
Fandom: Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang
Rating: Pg-13
Word Count: 1,424
Disclaimer: Don't own and the person who does would cry a little. Maybe.
Author's Note: Written for
smallfandomfest prompt; Harry finds out Perry likes to cook. The prompt instantly made me think of Harry stealing from Perry's plate like a couple. :3Harry has been stealing before he even knew what he was doing was considered wrong and could get him in some big trouble. When he was six and had been on one of the rare shopping trips with his mother, he had grabbed a Hostess snack box off of a shelf, opened the box, taken out a Twinkie, and ate the thing in four bites. He put the plastic back in the box and then ran to catch up with his mother before she forgot about him and left him in the store, again.
Since then he had gone with the rule of taking whatever he wanted. He had figured that as long as no one saw him, then no one would miss what he took or even realize that something had been taken. It had started off just being that simple. Swipe a few candy bars as rewards for actually passing a test, take an action figure out of the package and into his pocket so he could have someone to talk to at night while his mom and dad fought again, and other simple things that no one would really miss.
When he hit his teenage years he learned to swipe dirty magazines to trade the older boys for cigarettes behind the school, individual beer cans for the same reason, and gum because gum made the cute girls in class talk to him, even if they were only asking him for a piece of gum. And then he had to learn how to make a living and he had never really been that good at anything else so he stuck to stealing, except he wasn’t exactly good at stealing either because people who were good at it didn’t have priors back in New York.
Still, it had been his only habit that outlasted his smoking habit and just like the smoking habit it was going to take a while for him to break it. He wouldn’t even be trying to break either habit if it wasn’t for his roommate, aka pushy Perry van Shrike. But Perry wasn’t making him pay rent, or pay for groceries, utilities, or anything, really, and was actually paying him to be his assistant, even though Perry called him a secretary while Harry called himself an assistant.
So Harry thought he should try to be nice and stop doing the two things Perry told him to stop doing. It was better for his health to stop stealing and smoking after all. It was just one more way that Perry was trying to look out for Harry by making Harry healthier.
Harry figured it was also why Perry made breakfast for them every morning. Breakfast was the most important meal of the day, or so said the scientists or someone who actually cared more than Harry about why this meal was so important.
But Harry wasn’t an ungrateful roommate and he realized that Perry was taking the time to make two omelets or double the batch of pancakes he made, so Harry always ate everything he was given and then helped wash the dishes afterwards. He also would steal an extra piece of bacon from Perry’s plate or a bite of Perry’s French toast, despite Perry’s threats because so far he had not lost another finger to Perry’s menacing fork and butter knife.
Most of their lunches, Perry didn’t have a knife or fork to threaten Harry with so he would steal an extra slice of a peanut butter covered apple from the plate Perry prepared for himself despite Harry still having his own plate before him. He would always have to try Perry’s sandwich too even though Perry insisted that he made both of them completely the same. Harry wasn’t convinced because Perry’s always tasted better so he would secretly switch sandwiches and then quickly eat his stolen sandwich before Perry had the chance to notice or stop pretending that he didn’t notice.
Perry never let Harry help cook dinner because he knew that Harry had the habit of stealing tastes while cooking and Perry hated when Harry’s fingers “contaminated the meal.” Perry’s words, not Harry’s, of course. Even though breakfast was the most important meal of the day, dinner was Harry’s favorite because it had so many different food choices and Perry was awesome at cooking every single one. Harry didn’t even know how Perry knew so many recipes and how he had gotten so good at them but he was afraid to ask and risk the chance of angering Perry enough for him to stop cooking.
But Harry was an idiot and curiosity got the better of him. “How do you know how to make this? This is fucking delicious.” Harry complimented around a mouthful of said delicious meal.
“Spinach and cheese stuffed shells with a basil pasta sauce really isn’t that complicated to people with functioning brains and a set of skilled hands, Harry.” Perry replied easily as he continued to cut his shells into thirds.
“Yeah but I mean you know how to cook, like, everything. Is that a gay thing? Do you use these skills to get guys to sleep with you or something? Because I’m pretty sure I would have said yes to you if you had asked me for sex after that meal last Thursday.” Harry admitted.
Perry smirked. “Who knew that a good dish of paella would get you to roll over onto your stomach so easily.” He rolled his eyes. “Idiot, have you seen me cook in an attempt to get someone into my bed?”
Harry thought about it. “Well, no, but you could.”
“I probably could, yes, but I don’t like to play dirty. Everyone knows that a way to a man’s heart, or into his pants, is through his stomach. I can get guys for more than just my cooking skills.” Perry explained.
“Then why do you always cook? I mean, did you do this before I moved in or something?” Harry questioned.
“No, cooking for one is kinda pointless. But I like cooking.” Perry shrugged. “And if I didn’t cook for you I’d just end up having all of my food stolen instead of just one or two bites of each of my meals.” Perry stated even as he watched Harry’s fork inched towards his plate. Rolling his eyes, Perry helped close the distance by pushing his plate forward an inch and Harry successfully stabbed one of the slices of stuffed shells.
“I’m serious, Perry,” Harry moaned after he swallowed his stolen food. “I would totally let you bang me for your cooking.”
“Harry, you’re always bloated after I cook. Bloated sex is not my idea of a great time.” Perry berated as he took a bite of the garlic bread he had made to go along with the meal at Harry’s request. “Offer sex after you’ve digested or before we eat sometime.”
Harry nearly dropped the extra slice of garlic bread that he was claiming for himself as he stared at Perry. “Are you being serious?” Perry waggled his eyebrows over the garlic bread in his mouth. “Because I was, being serious, that is.” Perry slowly chewed the bite of bread in his mouth as he contemplated Harry. Harry fiddled with his fork and the remaining shell on his plate. “Did I ever mention that after Harmony moved out, Chook and I kinda experimented and I found out I was bisexual? You were probably right that Chook turned out to be gay. I think Harmony was the only girl he was ever with and I wasn’t the first guy he had kissed. You weren’t the first guy I ever kissed either, just so you know.”
“Eat more and shut up already.” Perry commanded.
“But I was trying to not eat as much so I wouldn’t be bloated.” Harry stabbed the shell anyways.
“Oh, well, in that case I can whip up something with the leftovers tomorrow for lunch.” Perry declared as he stood up and went to the cabinet with the tuber ware. “Just wash off the plates so that the sauce doesn’t stick and we’ll take care of them later.”
Harry couldn’t stop staring before his brain finally seemed to catch up and tell him to move quickly or else he might miss out on sex. He quickly did as he was told and stole a surprised kiss from Perry while he was putting the leftovers into the fridge.
“Last one to the bedroom sucks the winner off,” Harry declared as he bolted from the kitchen before Perry could say anything about the kiss. Perry didn’t seem to mind the declared rule from Harry when he finally made his way into the bedroom. Perry also didn’t seem to mind when Harry stole kisses from then on, in fact, it was one habit Perry encouraged.
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no subject
Date: 2012-02-22 08:10 pm (UTC)