aloneindarknes7 | (no subject)

Hi there, I'm Jordan and new to the Clex fandom! I'd like to contribute with some drabbles I've written to help me get the feel of some usual Clex topics.

Title: Anime in Smallville
Genre: Humor
Characters: Clark Kent, Lex Luthor
Word Count: 100

“Lex, you’ve got to check out this anime!” Clark exclaimed happily as he held up a DVD. “Pete let me borrow it and I thought you’d like to watch it with me.”

“I’m sorry, Clark, but I’m not a big fan of anime.” Lex frowned.

“But it’s all about Alexander the Great.”

_-_-_-_-_-_-

“I’m buying every season of this ever made.” Lex stated promptly after episode one.

“Did Alexander really dress like that?” Clark asked, blinking. Lex continued to smile. He was really starting to like anime now. Maybe he could buy a studio to make a Warrior Angel anime.
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Title: Gay in the Closet
Genre: Humor
Pairing: Clex
Word Count: 100

Lex walked into his closet and sighed. A moment later, Clark joined him in his closet. “What’s the matter, Lex?” His lover asked as he glanced around at all the clothes and then stared at the five different racks of shoes. Lex wasn’t a closet gay but if he stayed in his closet he’d only become gayer.

“I’m not sure what color shirt I should wear today; plum, violet, lavender, or purple.” Lex contemplated. “And then which pair of shoes I should wear.”

Clark continued to stare at Lex’s many shoes and promptly left, sighing. “You have the gayest closet.”

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Title: Pure Evil
Genre: Parody
Characters: Lex Luthor, Clark Kent
Word Count: 100

“Lex, what is that?”

Turning around in his giant swivel chair, Lex continued to smirk. “You mean this?” He asked with his innocent tone that stopped fooling Clark ten minutes after he had met him.

“Did you have Kryptonite molded into a figurine of a cat?” Clark stared, open mouthed as he continued to float far outside of Lex’s lead lined penthouse.

“Yes, and do you know why?” Clark shook his head. “Just so I could do this!” Lex began to pet the cat and brought his left pinky up to the corner of his mouth. “I’m Dr. Evil, bitch.”
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Title: Tentacle? Please?
Genre: Humor, tentacle kinks
Pairing: Clex
Word Count: 100

Before Superman and Lex had sex, Superman had to confess a few things to his once best friend, turned enemy, turned lover. “If we’re going to…do this, then I need to show you something first.” Superman slowly began to peel back his suit.

“Is it a tentacle?” Lex sounded excited.

“What? No, I don’t have anything like that.”

“Darn.” Now Lex sounded disappointed.

“It’s me, Lex, I’m Clark Kent and I’m Superman.” Clark explained as he shed the last of the costume.

“Yeah, I’m really surprised. So, there’s really no tentacle? I had always hoped that you had a tentacle.”
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Title: The Best Thing About Slash: MPreg
Genre: MPreg
Pairing: Clex
Word Count: 100

“Hey, Lex, you know what would be really good right now?” Clark asked as he not-too-gently nudged Lex’s shoulder. The man rolled over and mumbled something into the pillow that Clark couldn’t pick up even with his hearing. “A mushroom pizza with ranch dressing. Could you go get one, please?” Clark nudged again.

Lex sat up in bed and tossed him a glare before he sighed and fumbled for his clothes around the room. He finally got dressed and Clark listened until he heard Lex’s car start up.

Yeah, his cravings had to be the best thing about being pregnant.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Title: Memory Loss
Genre: Amnesia
Pairing: Clex
Word Count: 150

Lex doesn’t know how, but he’s pretty sure he’s lost his memory. He woke up in his castle and was surprised to hear that Victoria had left long ago and he had fired the Palmers. When he arrived at work, to further prove that he had lost his memory, he found out that the plant was now working under Lexcorp industries, his own company.

When he goes home that afternoon he found some comfort in scotch until Clark showed up with a smile. He smiled back and was glad that apparently nothing had changed with his relationship with Clark, that they were still friends.

Then Clark kissed him and suggested that they head up stairs, saying that Lex could help him with his homework later.

“Wait, wait, we’re dating?” Lex asked.

Clark looked concerned. “Did you hit your head again?”

“Maybe,” Lex grinned and pulled Clark in for another kiss.

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Title: Fangirls in Smallville
Genre: Humor
Pairing/Characters: Clex, fangirls
Word Count: 150

“Lex? What are you doing here? And what happened to all of your clothes?” Clark asked as he rose from his loft’s couch.

“I honestly couldn’t tell you. But I know this has to be the work of mutants because I was hit on the head in between saying hello to the group of giggling girls and winding up here.” Lex rubbed a hand over his head and then blinked. “What happened to all of your clothes?”

Clark glanced down at himself and frowned. “I have no idea; I swear they were here just a moment ago.” He blushed and looked at Lex. “What’s in your hand?”

Lex’s eyes widened. “Lubricant,” he glanced at Clark. “What are you holding?”

“Condoms,” Clark’s blush started to spread down his body and Lex joyfully watched.

“I think this is destiny talking to us.”

And the mutated group of fangirls watched their plan unfurl.
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Title: Smallville Weirdness
Genre: Humor, Kryptonian mating
Pairing: Clex
Word Count: 150

He had to be dreaming. “Clark, what are you doing?” Except his mind wasn’t this nice to him. His mind would never conjure up a naked Clark in his office for him to enjoy.

“Um, it’s hard to explain, Lex, but you know those caves? Well, they kind of said that I had to mate and then…” Clark trailed off, blushing. Lex was sure this was some sort of lie; he’d checked out those caves and they hadn’t said a word to him. “But if you’d let me borrow some clothes I’ll go tell the caves that there’s some misunderstanding and--”

“Oh no, I’m not going to make the Smallville weirdness angry with me. I’d rather have sex than another concussion.” Lex thanked Smallville weirdness with all of his heart as he stood up and began to unbutton his shirt. This was one lie he’d gladly go along with.
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Title: Money Well Spent
Genre: Humor, slash
Pairing/Characters: Clex OC!Hooker Phil
Word Count: 150

It finally hit Clark that Lex was in love with him when he strolled into Lex’s study and found him kissing a brown hair, green eyed man wearing flannel sitting on the pool table.

Clark had gasped at the revelation and Lex had turned, his eyes wide, obviously surprised that Clark was there. He opened his mouth but his words were muffled as Clark gripped his shoulders and kissed him.

When he could breathe again, Lex continued to stare at Clark but addressed the man beside him. “Phil, you’ve been a tremendous amount of help. You can leave now. Your check is in the mail.” The Clark look alike had shrugged and walked out of the room just as Lex had pulled Clark down for another long kiss.

“I probably could have saved you a lot of money if I had done this yesterday, huh?”

“It was worth every cent.”
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Title: Porn; It Can and It Is
Genre: Slash, a bit sad
Pairing: Clex
Word Count: 200

It’s embarrassing when your parents stumble across your porn collection. It’s mortifying when they walk in while you’re looking at your porn collection.

It can be embarrassing when your friend stumbles across your porn collection, unless they’re a good friend who wants to look at your collection with you.

It’s mortifying when they find your *special* porn collection of underage, gay farmboys where you’ve glued their face overtop of the porn stars.

“I can explain everything, or we can imagine that this never happened, or you can just punch me in the face and we’ll call it even?” Lex starts suggesting as Clark digs through the box and pulls out a DVD and flips it over and squints at it.

“Hey, can we watch this one?” Clark asks with a bright blush on his face. “And afterward we can…well; do you want some real pictures?”

It’s a wet dream come true when your friend stumbles across your special porn collection and wants to act it out.

It’s horrible when you wander back to reality and watch your special porn collection burn in the fireplace. But you tell yourself that it’s better that way and that you can’t risk your friendship.
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Title: Destiny Gone Wrong
Genre: Character death
Pairing/Characters: Clex, the Justice League
Word Count: 250

Superman had been captured by Luthor, blah, blah, trap with Kryptonite and innocents, blah. The Justice League was pretty bored with this routine but until Luthor and Superman accidentally succeeded in killing each other or finally released some of their pent up sexual tension, they stuck to the routine, quietly making bets on who would end up making the first suggestion of the bed. Bets on Luthor were a lot higher than the one on Superman.

When they busted into Luthor’s latest lair and found Luthor on the ground, cradling Superman’s body with tears running down his cheeks, they had all been stunned. They had to pry Lex away from Superman’s corpse and he had screamed in pain as they had confirmed that he was dead. He had babbled uncontrollably about how there had been too much Kryptonite and that he hadn’t double checked the amount when Batman had hauled him away to one of the jail cells.

Batman had checked on Lex an hour later after he had watched the security tape of Clark’s dying words of love. Lex was still mumbling his apologies to Clark and making promises about never harming anything for the rest of his life.

The League made a new routine to visit Lex once a month in Arkham even though every time they went, Lex was still mumbling about how destiny had gone wrong between them. They still felt the responsibility to check on him despite any reaction; it’s what Superman would have wanted.
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Title: All the Colors of the Rainbow
Genre: Humor

Characters: Lex Luthor, Superman, Batman, OC!Villain The Rainbow
Word Count: 250

“Superman,” Lex Luthor appeared on the screen at the watchtower, a giant laser behind him implying that he had some evil plan that he needed to share.

“Luthor,” Superman sighed as a few of the other members of the Justice League started to gather in the room.

“I demand to be named Ruler of Pluto!” Lex demanded. “If you don’t agree to my demands, I shall use this giant laser to--”

“Fine,” Superman shrugged. “You can have Pluto. It’s not even a planet in our solar system anymore, apparently.” Besides, it was a pretty boring not-planet.

Lex frowned for a moment but quickly smirked. “Yes, well, it’s mine now and I shall call it Lexplanet.”

“It sure is but you have to tell the world the name change.” Superman smiled. “And, Lex, just so you know, it’s not really purple.” He turned away from the screen and ignored the stares of the other heroes.

“Damn it,” Lex cursed on screen. Superman sighed. Lex had stopped being fun once he had decided to rule over everything purple. But maybe this latest stunt would break him from that habit and he’d go back to trying to destroy all things in the primary colors instead. That had at least been a little interesting.

“He’s still under The Rainbow’s curse?” Batman asked as he started walking beside Superman. Superman nodded, sadly. “He really should apologize and explain that he was just trying to cover up his own homosexuality by making fun of rainbows.”
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Title: Anything for a Friend
Genre: Noncon
Pairing: one sided Clex
Word Count: 250

Lex had once told Clark that he’d do anything for a friend. As time went by and Clark deemed Lex as his best friend, he suddenly seemed to learn that Lex meant that and had started to ask for little favors alongside the helpful advice Lex always gave.

They remained friends through Clark’s years at high school and when Clark went to Met U. During his college years, Clark had learned that he was gay. Lex was really surprised.

He was even more surprised when Clark admitted that he wanted to start dating Lex. Lex had smiled and told Clark that he’d loved to. He wasn’t gay; during his teenaged years he had found out how much he did not like to be touched by other guys. But it had made Clark so happy and Clark was still the only friend that had stuck by him through the two marriages. Besides, he liked the way Clark hugged him so he figured he could survive this until Clark found someone else.

After the third official date, Clark was ready to take their relationship to the next step. Lex didn’t object.

He had almost said no to Clark when he had seen how big the boy was. But of course, he hadn’t. As Clark pounded into him, grunting with each thrust, Lex kept his eyes closed and pumped harder, trying to stay hard and ignore the burning pain.

Lex had once said that he’d do anything for a friend. He meant it.

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Title: Soulja Boy
Genre: Humor, a bit gross
Pairing: Clex
Word Count: 300

“Clark, turn that shit down this instance.” Lex shouted as he strolled into the penthouse. He was cranky, but then again, any man who hadn’t had sex in the past two weeks when they use to have it at least once a day often was. Going dry turkey was not working for him. “I can’t believe you’d listen to that.”

“But it mentions me, Lex.” Clark beamed as he continued to swing his hips awkwardly. Lex sighed; Clark would never learn how to dance. He was just glad that Clark never asked to go to a club.

“No, Clark, the lyrics are ‘Super Man dat hoe’ which doesn’t mean whatever you might think it does.” Lex insisted as he strode over to the stereo and unplugged it. He’ll burn it later on when Clark left to patrol.

“Oh? Then tell me, Lex, since you’re apparently so ghetto, what does it mean?” Clark asked, crossing his arms over his chest and taking his Superman pose.

“When a guy ‘Superman’s a hoe’ it means that a girl that they’re sleeping with refused to have sex with them one night so he waited until she fell asleep, jacked off on her back, and stuck the sheet to her so that when she woke up in the morning, the sheet would stick to her back like a cape.” Lex explained, watching as Clark’s hands fell to his side.

“That’s disgusting!” Clark shouted, looking repulsed. “I’m going to sue for using the term ‘Superman’ in such a way. Since when does Superman’s definition go from truth, justice, and the American way to that? Damn teenagers,”

Lex shrugged. As far as he was concerned, if he didn’t get some action soon Clark was going to be waking up to a silk purple cape as a lesson.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

Title: Jimmy Knows When He's Defeated
Genre: Humor
Pairing/Characters: Clex, Lois Lane, one sided JimmyClark
Word Count: 350

Everyone at the Daily Planet knew that Jimmy Olsen had a crush on Clark Kent, the mild mannered reporter. Everyone except Clark Kent that is.

The worst thing was that Jimmy was trying to be obvious. He knew CK was gay, Lois had told him so, and he knew that Clark knew he was gay, Lois again had told him so, but he couldn’t get up the nerve to ask him out so he kept hoping that Clark would do it. He always smiled at him and hung around by his desk, not to mention that day he wore those tight jeans and kept ‘accidentally’ dropping things that he needed to bend over at the hips to pick up.

One rare day, Lois took a personal day, something about her cousin Chloe forcing her to enjoy a day at the spa and actually have a personal life. She told Jimmy that he could have the full day to seduce Clark. Jimmy had blushed but arrived that day in his tight jeans and a new shirt.

So far the day had been wonderful. Clark seemed a lot less stressed with Lois’ absence. He was laughing and smiling more and had even gave Jimmy a high five. Jimmy was falling in love with Clark all over again.

It finally occurred to Jimmy why Clark wasn’t interested in him when Lex Luthor strolled into the office that day. Jimmy had glanced at Clark when it looked like Luthor was heading straight toward them and had been shock to see the expression he knew he reserved for Clark on Clark’s face.

“Lex, what are you doing here? You never visit me at work.” Clark had grinned and stood from his chair.

Luthor had shrugged and glanced at Jimmy. “I thought since Lane wasn’t here for once it would be safe for me. Come on, let’s go out and get lunch.”

“Okay,” Clark’s grin had only grown. “See you later, Jimmy.”

Jimmy waved goodbye and felt his heart break. He couldn’t compete with Luthor. That man’s ass was amazing without the help of tight jeans.
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Yay for drabbles, right? I hope you enjoyed them because I still have some left over that I have yet to post, not to mention an actual chaptered story. *gasp*

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*giggles madly* You broke my brain! Apart from one or two that made me unbelievably sad they were all hilarious XP

I can't wait to see more of your work :)

Thank you so much! I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the drabbles.

Neat drabbles! I especially liked the tentacle-kink one and the one with the mutant fangirls and the sad one where Lex accidentally killed Superman. Glad you posted!

Thanks for telling me your favorites! We all know that Lex secretly wants Clark to either be huge or have something freaky down below. The sad one with Superman's death was depressing to right but I liked how it came out and I feel like I might use that for a future fic.

I freaking hate you, you know that.
~~Guess who this is, guess.~~
But holy crap did I LOL at some of those. Like, spit on my monitor LOL.
Haaaaate.

You're just jealous, shorty! My fandom is better than yours by far! I mean, seriously, these are some of the most common things you'll find with Clex. I could give you a whole community dedicated to MPreg!Clark; it's so beautiful.

Uh...no, it's okay, you can keep it.
xDD

Jealous I say!

You're just jealous of the batshit insaneness my fandom has. And you know it.

Pft, so not. My fandom has some batshit insaneness in the shape of Bruce Wayne, bitch, because guess what? He was Lex's room mate in school so that equals threesome!

I meant batshit insaneness in the form of its fanbrats. xD
Parts of KH fandom have it's own special place in hell, I'm thinking.

(deleted comment)

Thank you very much! I found that out on Gaia and I just had to right about it.

I left you a comment back then, over at sv_slash, but never got a reply, so maybe you didnt get a notification:
http://community.livejournal.com/sv_slash/313211.html

oh, and I have seen you quite reading lots of clex fics, so if you are interested in my clex fic recs, I have them here:
http://theme-clex-recs.livejournal.com/486.html

Oh wow! I just took a quick peek at your recs and I'm so happy now!

there are also lots of old recs at the now (not active anymore) svroundtable:
http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=svroundtable&keyword=Theme&filter=all

i also rec new fics at sv_renaissance:
http://community.livejournal.com/sv_renaissance/tag/wednesday+recommendations

all that should keep you busy :)

Awesome! The more to read, the better!

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I assume, you already know the recs by danceswithgary :)

Re: I assume, you already know the recs by danceswithgary :)